The 72 Hour Rule
by Brown, Margot E., Dr.-
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Summary
Author Biography
Table of Contents
| Introduction | p. xi |
| Why Am I Writing This Book? | p. xi |
| Recommendations | p. xii |
| My Style | p. xiii |
| Collaborative vs. Medical Model | p. xiv |
| How to Use This Book | p. xv |
| Disclaimer | p. xvi |
| So What Is My Gift to You? | p. xvi |
| p. 1 | |
| Thoughts, Beliefs, Behaviors | p. 3 |
| The Window Blind | p. 3 |
| How Do You Begin to Change? | p. 4 |
| Values | p. 4 |
| Money | p. 8 |
| Common Complaints for Couples | p. 14 |
| ôYou Don't Make Me a Priority!ö Make Yourself a Priority! | p. 14 |
| Please Don't Settle | p. 15 |
| Loss of Sexual Desire | p. 17 |
| Jealousy | p. 18 |
| What Happens When One of You Outgrows the Other or Moves in a Different Direction? | p. 19 |
| How Important Is Spirituality to You as a Couple? | p. 25 |
| Poor Coping Leads to Poor Outcomes | p. 27 |
| What if You've Just Met? Do Your Homework! | p. 29 |
| Don't Marry Him to Change Him (or Her) | p. 30 |
| Hello and Goodbye | p. 32 |
| Everything Is a Connection Point! | p. 33 |
| What Have You Learned So Far? | p. 35 |
| p. 37 | |
| Your Thoughts Are Important! | p. 39 |
| Pause for Thought | p. 39 |
| What Is My Role? I Have to Pay Attention to My Thoughts Too | p. 40 |
| Want to Change Your Behaviors? | p. 41 |
| You Are in Control of the Remote (Change Channels) | p. 54 |
| ôCheck-Inö | p. 54 |
| Because-But-And | p. 55 |
| Core Negative Beliefs | p. 56 |
| Positive Concept vs. Negative Belief | p. 59 |
| What Have You Learned So Far? | p. 61 |
| p. 63 | |
| Pay Attention to You! | p. 65 |
| Language is Important: Communication with Self | p. 65 |
| Emotions | p. 67 |
| The Anger Continuum-The Rope of Anger | p. 67 |
| How Do You Know When You Are Angry-Scared-Anxious? | p. 68 |
| Egg Metaphor | p. 70 |
| A Man Who Changed | p. 72 |
| Maladaptive Coping Mechanisms for Anxiety | p. 73 |
| Functional Healthy Ways to Cope with Anxiety | p. 74 |
| Gender-Biased Anxiety | p. 76 |
| Guilt | p. 77 |
| Shame | p. 79 |
| Name a Negative Feeling That Is a Theme in Your Life | p. 82 |
| Grief | p. 87 |
| Grief and Intimacy | p. 93 |
| Complicated Bereavement | p. 94 |
| Normal Grief vs. Depression | p. 95 |
| What Have You Learned So Far? | p. 96 |
| p. 97 | |
| Family | p. 99 |
| Triangulation | p. 99 |
| Couple | p. 102 |
| Locked in a Cycle…So What Is Life Like When There Is No 72-Hour Rule? | p. 102 |
| Communication Blocks | p. 103 |
| Mind Reading | p. 105 |
| Game Playing-The Negative Dance/Power Struggle/Hidden Agendas | p. 106 |
| Are You Both Playing Games? | p. 108 |
| Do Not Compete with Your Partner! | p. 110 |
| Game Names | p. 111 |
| The Silent Treatment | p. 118 |
| Identify Your Dance | p. 120 |
| The Dance: Workbook Example: Partner A | p. 124 |
| The Dance: Workbook Example: Partner B | p. 124 |
| Secrets, Sex, Money | p. 126 |
| Affairs…What You Need to Know | p. 128 |
| Verbal Abuse | p. 132 |
| Gender Roles | p. 135 |
| Conflict Over Religious Beliefs | p. 138 |
| Projection and Finger-Pointing | p. 140 |
| What Have You Learned So Far? | p. 142 |
| p. 143 | |
| Danger Signs | p. 145 |
| Addiction to Substances and Other Things | p. 146 |
| Prescription Drugs | p. 149 |
| Stimulants | p. 150 |
| Depressants | p. 151 |
| Alcohol | p. 152 |
| Marijuana | p. 152 |
| Physical Health | p. 153 |
| Get Help Now! | p. 158 |
| Look in the Mirror | p. 158 |
| Substance Use/Abuse | p. 159 |
| Codependency | p. 160 |
| Enabling Behaviors | p. 163 |
| You Decide | p. 166 |
| Are You the Codependent? | p. 167 |
| The Subconscious Dance | p. 168 |
| What About the Kids? | p. 169 |
| Other Things | p. 169 |
| Shopping, Shopping, Shopping | p. 170 |
| FYI-Now Do You Know What Healthy Looks Like When You Are in Recovery? | p. 173 |
| Mental Illness | p. 174 |
| According to the National Institute for Mental Health | p. 174 |
| Anxiety Disorders | p. 175 |
| Mood Disorders | p. 178 |
| Personality Disorders | p. 184 |
| Physical Abuse/Domestic Violence | p. 190 |
| Pushing, Choking, Hitting, Knife, Gun | p. 190 |
| Statistics for Domestic Violence | p. 194 |
| Violent Acts | p. 196 |
| Did I Tell You About Young Boys Exposed to Chronic Domestic Violence? | p. 197 |
| Domestic Violence in Summary | p. 198 |
| The Power and Control Wheel | p. 200 |
| Divorce Attorney? Collaborative Mediation? Litigation? | p. 203 |
| What Have You Learned So Far? | p. 207 |
| p. 209 | |
| You! | p. 211 |
| Love Yourself First | p. 211 |
| Put Balance Back into Your Life | p. 213 |
| Personal Appearance | p. 214 |
| What Effect Does Your Appearance Have on Your Partner's Attraction to You? | p. 218 |
| Body Image and Sexual Relations; Body Image and Self-Esteem | p. 218 |
| Personal Goals and Couple Goals | p. 220 |
| Managing Change Beginning-Middle-Ending | p. 221 |
| What Is Your Goal? | p. 226 |
| Take the Risk | p. 227 |
| Medications | p. 227 |
| Family | p. 231 |
| Children, Natural Families | p. 231 |
| Parental Control, Reclaim Your Power Back Now! | p. 232 |
| Blended Families | p. 232 |
| Communication with Children | p. 234 |
| Solid Topics for Discussion with Your Child | p. 234 |
| Parental Challenges | p. 235 |
| Family Relationships | p. 236 |
| Single Parent Dating | p. 237 |
| Summary | p. 239 |
| What Have You Learned So Far? | p. 240 |
| p. 241 | |
| Couple | p. 243 |
| Be Friends First | p. 243 |
| Balance for Partner/Spouse | p. 243 |
| Communication 101 | p. 244 |
| Sender and Receiver | p. 248 |
| What Have You Learned? | p. 251 |
| After You Tell Me, I'll Respect You More | p. 252 |
| Disconnect Between What You Hear and What You Feel | p. 252 |
| What Have You Learned? | p. 255 |
| Acknowledgment Does Not Mean Agreement | p. 257 |
| Non-verbal Cues to Communicate Effectively How-When-Where (some commonsense tips) | p. 258 |
| Positive Communication | p. 259 |
| Intimacy with Sexual Attraction | p. 263 |
| Intention | p. 266 |
| Forgiveness | p. 267 |
| Unforgiveness | p. 269 |
| Forgiveness Formula | p. 270 |
| Fighting Time-outs during Times of Conflict | p. 273 |
| Name That Tune-Observation | p. 274 |
| How Do You Begin? | p. 275 |
| Need and Wants-Missed Expectations | p. 275 |
| Rebuilding Trust After the Affair | p. 277 |
| No Trust Before the Affair | p. 277 |
| Healthy Trust Before the Affair | p. 278 |
| Do Each of You Honestly Want to Build Trust Now? Think About It | p. 278 |
| Steps Toward Rebuilding Trust: Perpetrator | p. 279 |
| Victim | p. 284 |
| What Can You Look Forward to Post-Affair? | p. 287 |
| Resistance to Change | p. 289 |
| How Do You Begin Talking to Each Other if You Haven't Talked to Each Other in Years? | p. 290 |
| The Victim/Empowerment Cycle of Behavior | p. 295 |
| What Is the 72-Hour Rule? | p. 305 |
| Date Night | p. 311 |
| Boundaries | p. 313 |
| No Outside Influences | p. 314 |
| Intimacy | p. 315 |
| Sexual Intimacy | p. 318 |
| Healthy Communication | p. 319 |
| A Non-Violent Relationship | p. 320 |
| The Equality Wheel | p. 322 |
| Making Adjustments in Life | p. 323 |
| The 72-Hour Rule Completed | p. 332 |
| The Basics-Just Like in the NFL | p. 334 |
| Leave Your Bag of Burdens in the Past | p. 335 |
| What Have You Learned So Far? | p. 336 |
| References | p. 337 |
| Image Credits | p. 343 |
| Table of Contents provided by Ingram. All Rights Reserved. |
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