Good Etiquette-Know the Signs-Show the Signs "Comport yourself with dignity and grace." "Aim to Please." "Keep your Elbows off the Table." "Play to the Strengths in Your Personality." "Good Posture is a sign of Good Etiquette." "The Handshake, the Curtsey, the Air-Kiss, the Hug and the Bow are signs of Good Etiquette." "I'm rubber, you're glue, your insults bounce off me and stick to you." "Be Tactful." "Make a Good First Impression." "Proper Introductions are signs of Good Etiquette. " "Remember titles and names." "Labor to keep alive in your hearts that little celestial fire called conscience." George Washington "Thank You notes and Sympathy Notes are signs of good etiquette." "Actions speak louder than words." "Personal, Hand-written Notes are Ties that Bind" "With speeches: Be brief and be seated." "Don't Talk with Food in Your Mouth." "In ballroom dance, she starts with her right foot, he starts with his left." "He leads a dance by sending silent signals with his right hand." "Fix your gaze above the horizon and your countenance pleasant." "One drink per hour takes will power." "A Seven-Course Banquet includes Dishes from Soup to Nuts" "Out to Sea and Back to Me." Behave! Etiquette Lessons for Adults, actually teaches etiquette. It is a self-help masterpiece. You'll see results in twelve lessons delivered with activities including gait and dance frame work, knife and fork skills, business and formal wardrobe details, drinking directives, role playing, four focus quizzes, three writing assignments, poems, recitations, a drawing and a crossword puzzle.

Many thanks, Manhattan man
One April night, the inspiration to rewind a ten-year, big bang array of etiquette notes into a handbook for adults arrived from NY in the following e-mail via request link to customer service on my web site, www.etiquettelessons.com :
"I am looking for help in my overall image and professional dining skills. I have been told that I have issues with the way I hold my fork and I tend to drink a lot when I am around clients or am nervous. I have been unemployed for a year and know that the way I am needs to change as I am not able to represent myself in a positive way."
Etiquette Lessons for Adults, Behave! is written with this request in mind. This is for all who puzzle over positive self-representation, mastery of self-image, dining skills (especially knife-and-fork skills) conversation and drinking management. Manhattan Man sought help to change the way he is. This book addresses each of his concerns with lessons on comportment and demeanor, protocol training, dining etiquette and conversation; delivered with practice activities, applied science and techniques to replace nervousness with confidence. I think Manhattan Man spoke for many who will find the missing pieces to their puzzle in this book.
Thanks to him.
Behave! Etiquette Lessons for Adults
Lesson One
Comportment
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Be in accord with reasonable and acceptable standards and policies as expressed in the myriad of immediate and long range choices you make, regarding clothing, language, conduct and behavior.
"Comport yourself with dignity and grace."
When playing the host, for example, take care to choose venues with a reputation for successful business and social events. The menu, furniture, view and service in a dining establishment can make or break the success of plans. Give every presentation your best effort. Buyers will reciprocate in kind. Chances are that you both will feel that you got the best possible deal and look forward to future transactions. Initial presentations set the standard for, sales support, customer service and even product development.
At business meetings, people talk, listen and make decisions soberly during business hours. In meetings, agreements can be formalized, finalized and documented, recorded and followed-up with on the same day. Networking will inevitably bring you to choices of business and social organizations of which you would like to become a member. Membership may come with your profession or you may be invited and sponsored in joining a private club. For example, professional association, society or organization member meetings are usually held on week days during lunch. Become familiar with a little book called, "Robert's Rules of Order." This will teach you how any organization's business meetings are conducted. (Who can vote and how to make a 'motion', etc). A working understanding of these procedures is essential if you wish to sit on any executive board of directors, especially if you aspire to become an officer or director. Good standing in one or more professional or charitable organizations can certainly help with your overall image while providing you a broader view with valuable introductions and opportunities galore.
"Aim to Please."
Dinners are generally reserved for celebrations, entertainment, recreation, socializing, fine wines, romance and relaxation. If you are hosting, where will you plan to meet? Best idea is to join a private club, for business travel become a member of an upscale hotel chain or patronize an upscale restaurant where service and food are consistently good, the head waiter knows you personally, you have a favorite table, where perhaps the menus show no prices to guests and you can run a tab and pay monthly fees. You want the meeting to be in a place where you know what to expect so that you can relax and focus on business. Yacht clubs, riding clubs, athletic clubs, golf and country clubs have social memberships expressly for the use of such dining facilities. You may need to be sponsored by a member and pay a fee to join but you will find that this level of comfort is designed for and by successful business people. These venues have good parking, valets, meeting and banquet rooms with audio/visual aids and telephone conferencing, well-trained waiters and service staff. Some even employ restroom attendants who can sew on a button, clean-off a food spill, clean or replace a gentleman's neck tie, repair a lady's broken nail or maybe even a broken heel or replace snagged tights. Private clubs and fine venue restrooms provide cologne, deodorant, hair spray, make-up, shoe polish, and such to help you and your guest keep the edge on your professional image. Naturally, you will arrive at the venue looking your best by keeping and following a personal standard.
Personality
Learning and practicing all the nuances of comportment and decorum in the world does not preclude you from expressing your own free will as regards your personality. On the contrary, etiquette knowledge fosters engineered self-expression. It is the icing on the cake. With etiquette training, you should feel more yourself than ever because you will have learned to comport yourself with grace and dignity and have the assurance others should not be offended by your behavior. If you still need to understand your own nature as regards the ways in which you do things objective knowledge about your individual personality type helps. It definitely makes sense to take a free, informal personality test online. In fact, this information belongs on your resume. The best way to understand your personality or psychological type is to take an official MBTI® ( Myers Briggs Type Indicator ) instrument. Easily accessed on the web, this information will help you to understand who you are as others see and hear you, and you can learn to make the most of your strengths. This will also help you to adapt the way you naturally do things or how you have learned to do things, to truly proper and polite ways of etiquette and protocol. (Hopefully this will only require a few tweaks.) We each have adjustments to make. I have learned to accept for example, that I have learned to modulate my voice, but still, I definitely need a microphone for public speaking. Thankfully writing is one of my strengths, so the power of publishing is taking my books of Etiquette Lessons much farther than my speaking voice ever could.
Good Posture
Stand, walk and sit up straight! Good Posture is always important. In fact it is a big sign of good etiquette and good manners. It shows that you are fit, alert, respectful, healthy, well rested and agile. Good Posture is an example to show that traditions are usually based in scientific truth or logic. If everyone sits up straight, their stomach and lungs will have plenty of room to function during the full course of a meal. Your companions will get a positive impression of you and will tend to straighten their posture as well. Also, your clothes will look best if your frame is as straight as can be. Please keep your rib cage held up, your shoulders back and relaxed, abs taut.
"Good Posture is a sign of Etiquette Training"
Regarding placement of hands at the table, customs vary. In most countries, fellow diners like to see everyone's hands on top of the table. In America, hands may be folded and in your lap or folded with wrists placed on the table edge in front of you while you are not eating. One wrist may be resting on the edge of the table for support at anytime while the other hand rests in your lap. Keep your forearms off the table, your elbows at your sides and heed the collective grandmothers wail:
“Keep your elbows off the table.”