Get Out of Your Own Way

by ;
Edition: Revised
Format: Paperback
Pub. Date: 1996-01-01
Publisher(s): Perigee Trade
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Summary

Self-defeating behavior is the single most common reason that people seek psychotherapy. It is a poison, preventing us from achieving the love, success and happiness we want in our lives. And what really drives us crazy is feeling we have to change and not knowing how - or knowing how but being unable to stick with change. Get Out of Your Own Way is an antidote - it explains why we sabotage ourselves, going back to childhood origins of various behaviors. More important, it offers proven steps of action to transform behavior from self-defeating to life-enhancing.
With anecdotes and usable insights drawn from twenty years of psychiatric clinical practice, Dr. Mark Goulston shares ideas that have helped thousands of patients overcome pain, fear, and confusion - to approach life's challenges with dignity, wisdom, courage, and even humor. By encouraging you to reflect upon your behavior - and providing practical steps toward change that you can work into your everyday life - Get Out of Your Own Way shows you how to stop being your own worst enemy - and become your own best friend.

Table of Contents

10 Things You Can Learn from Self-Defeating Behaviorp. xi
Introduction: How to Beat Self-Defeatp. xv
Chasing After Love and Approval From a Parentp. 1
Getting Involved With the Wrong Peoplep. 6
Procrastinatingp. 11
Expecting Others to Understand How You Feelp. 15
Waiting Until It's Too Latep. 21
Getting So Angry You Make Things Worsep. 25
Saying Yes When You Want to Say Nop. 29
Holding a Grudgep. 33
Assuming They Don't Want Anything in Returnp. 37
Playing It Safep. 41
Always Having to Be Rightp. 45
Focusing on What Your Partner Is Doing Wrongp. 49
Putting up With Broken Promisesp. 54
Trying to Make up While You're Still Angryp. 59
Not Learning From Your Mistakesp. 63
Trying to Change Othersp. 67
Rebelling Just for the Sake of Rebellingp. 71
Talking When Nobody's Listeningp. 75
Pretending You're Fine When You're Notp. 79
Becoming Obsessive or Compulsivep. 83
Taking Things Too Personallyp. 88
Acting Too Needyp. 92
Having Unrealistic Expectationsp. 96
Trying to Take Care of Everybodyp. 100
Refusing to "Play Games"p. 104
Putting on an Act to Make a Good Impressionp. 108
Being Envious of Othersp. 113
Feeling Sorry for Yourselfp. 117
Assuming the Hard Way Is the Right Wayp. 122
Thinking "I'm Sorry" Is Enoughp. 126
Holding It All Inp. 130
Quitting Too Soonp. 135
Letting Others Control Your Lifep. 139
Leaving Too Much to Chancep. 143
Letting Fear Run Your Lifep. 148
Not Moving on After a Lossp. 152
Not Getting Out When the Getting Is Goodp. 156
Not Asking for What You Needp. 161
Giving Advice When They Want Something Elsep. 166
Backing Down Because You Don't Feel Readyp. 171
Table of Contents provided by Syndetics. All Rights Reserved.

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